- Skinny Jeans
- V-Necks (Unless your chest hair is well-groomed)
- Beige Turtlenecks
- Socks failing to exceed 13 3/8 inches in length (It's always good to keep a ruler handy)
- Tank Tops (Unless you're riding in a tank)
- Thonged Sandals (Two thongs don't make a right)
- Speedos (Ask yourself: "Am I Michael Phelps?" If the answer is "No," then Speedos are a no go)
- Pants on the ground (They're immodest and they make you look like a fool)
- Parkas
- Rudy Gay Jerseys (They're gay)
- Hollister Apparel (Alex Garay, take note)
- Chain Mail Vests
- Rainboots
- Crocs of any kind, shape, size, style, color, model, apparatus, prototype, apparatus, material, make, type, apparatus, or apparatus.
- Bob Ferry-style polka-dot water bottle holders
- Any apparel bought from the ladies department, seriously.
- Dukie Wear (Or Tar Heel, Cavalier, Hokie, Youngstown State Penguin, or Mountaineer gear)
- Backwards hats that cover your eyebrows.
- Long Chains (ie what the kids call "bling" for lack of a better term)
- Dyed Hair (Unless you're Dennis Rodman, Jeremy Moore, or you're using Touch of Gray)
I agree with everything except the tube socks. They're for clowns.
ReplyDeleteim sorry but neither dennis rodman nor jeremy moore should be an exception to that very serious last rule
ReplyDeletea helpful list. specifically appreciate your categorical denunciation of Crocs footwear.
ReplyDeleteI know that I'm female and shouldn't be commenting...but this post is hilarious, and I completely endorse this blog. I might just become a follower.
ReplyDeleteBecca: Thanks for your endorsement!
ReplyDeleteHere at boytalk, our goal is talk about things that boys talk about. Thus, this blog is not really geared towards females (not at all in fact, hence the name "boytalk"). However, we welcome any comments or questions that you ladies may have.